how hard is it to say Thank You?

There are many days that it can seem normal. It's okay...it will be okay.
There are days that you wait for the other shoe to drop.

I love and live with a Gulf War Veteran.
I was handed a beautifully folded American flag during my father's funeral
I relished the hundreds of stories told by my Sea Bee grandfather, fighter pilot and Chaplin grandfather, WAC nurse great aunt, Army Lt Col father and my former Navy husband.

We owe them our gratitude and our love.
Many come back in boxes to the ones that knew them best.
Others come back stronger than when they left.
Still others come back needing our protection, love and patience.

They are the hero's.
Today is a special day, everyday is Veteran's Day.

Thank you.

Love you

                                           Frederick Hassams-Fouth of July, 1916

A little story

It is truly fascinating how you can completely forget how to do something.That something that from the outside you might have been called pretty darn good at.

There is some digging going on as you have probably surmised.

I love the story about the donkey that fell into a well and could not get out.
All the farmers were wringing their hands leaning over the well rim trying to figure out how to get the donkey out.
Someone could be lowered down and we could winch the donkey out.
The well was very deep and not used.
So with very heavy hearts they thought it best to bury the donkey and say a prayer.
For many hours, shovel after shovel of dirt went into the well.
Many more hours and more dirt.
The donkey kept getting hit with the dirt and he would brush it off and move it out of the way.
More hours, more dirt.
Donkey was getting annoyed, though he kept shaking the dirt off and moving it out of the way.
A farmer looked up from shovelling and saw something twitch.
He went to the edge of the well and saw the donkey's ears.
Everyone else was still shovelling.
Next thing that farmer saw was the donkey's nose.
He was stunned literally silent.
The other farmers were just shovelling away and saying their prayers for the donkey's soul.
Then as the donkey's head became totally visible, the farmer found his voice.
This donkey was not done, yes it was annoying to have dirt shovelled on you, there is always a way out, and trust that you will find the way.

There is a hum happening all over the world. The sweat and labour of millions of people sending dirt over the edge of the well. Building the platform of humanity and justice.

What does this have to do with forgetting who you are?
For many of us, it is who you are and who you become with the dirt being shovelled on top of you. Are you one that, maybe to your core annoyed, though shakes and brushes it off. Do you see the pickle you are in and see that there is a way out. Imagine being that mute donkey, your voice not filling the ears of who stands to make decisions regarding your life and the well being of others.

Think about a time in your life you wanted something so bad you made the decision, I will have that, be that, do that no matter what. You made the plan, worked the steps and learned about how far you can be pushed or shovelled on. You became a different person.
If you are one that has somehow forgotten your greatness, remember the time that you made the decision and ran through the tape.

http://youtu.be/V6xLYt265ZM

Love you

Have a little.....

There are mounds of things that get processed, get shoved to the back, get half done or when you are really lucky you get check something off your list.


A gentleman on one the TED conversations asked about being authentic and becoming your authentic self. There is a lively discussion going on about authenticity. Wikipedia's definition is: Authenticity refers to the truthfulness of origins, attributions, commitments, sincerity, devotion, and intentions.


I love this.


When you dig, do the work, care enough, and then accept the outcome....I see authenticity.


The bottom line is you must do the work required to get there. Sometimes it is a moment in time and at other times it feels and is millenniums. In Buddhism you make your way around as many times as it takes to get it "right". Maybe "right" is becoming ones most authentic self. Think of the work involved.

We strive to be good parents, good daughters, mothers, wives, friends.......So when we can only use part of our brains to "complete" a task are we being authentic? Brene Brown comes to mind (see her piece below on a previous post) have courage with your whole heart. When she said that I know in that moment truly what it meant to live authentically. I could feel it in the core. Could I have felt that three years ago? Not sure.

In this moment..this very moment, we are all doing the best we can. That is not to let anyone off the hook for being a stinker or living a life less than they should, it is in this moment, we are doing the best we can. So that must mean we are at this moment being are authentic selves. As Oprah says "When we know better we do better". At the very least when you know better even if you are still playing that old record you know in your heart you are not living. If anything possibly guilt will get the better of you and you will start flying right.

You must do the work to get there. Show up and be present. If you are crabby and irritated, that's real. Just don't let it stop you from getting to the next step.


Love you

                                                          be authentic.

Change always comes bearing GIFTS. -Price Pritchett

You know when you know, right?....

to stay
to leave
to get thin
to stay fat
get off the crazy train

There are so many moments that we let slip by.
With those moments are choices that also get made whether it was conscious or not.

some pray on it
some meditate on it
others let others make the choice for them.

without reducing how difficult and tedious change can be on your whole existence
love this take on "three little birds"


Check your ego, we are all on the same team.
love you

What will it cost?

There is a shift happening.
For many of us, the last 2-3 years has been the pressure to move the plates.
A window is open.

In the words of your favourite super hero....will it be for good or for evil? Or "What will it cost?"

The brilliant thing about change...ie: "the shift" is that it can happen quickly. You choose the timing and you choose how it will happen. This is scary and very freeing at the same time.

You might ask..."so how do I get me some of this shifting?" Like a shot in the heiny, it smarts and then starts to take effect. You might have some intestinal issues along the way, though really you are starting to feel better and have more energy.

Try something for me.
Take out a journal, scrap piece of paper, you kids lined ruler paper and write down 4 things you want to change. Try not to take too long, a minute or so for all 4. Be clear and honest.
an example might be:
1. eat better
2. lose weight
3. be nicer to my husband
4. work on growing my business

Simple and clear, right?!
okay, a little more for you.
take another piece of paper and write on the top of it what you want to change..."1. eat better"
then list 10. reasons to change it.......what it will cost you if you don't.

I know, this is hard...this is the shot in the heiny...smarts part. Again, be clear and honest.
for example:
Eat Better
1. my kids will not be as healthy in body and brain because they want to eat what I do
2. the continued sadness my husband feels for not eating better would lead to more disconnection
3. I will get fatter
....you get the picture

okay, flip the page over and list 10. things you will GAIN changing this behavior. The simple pleasures, the amazing outrageous awesome positive things that will come your way when you change.

a little help
1. look better
2. feel better-future health
3. a happy husband-he loves to cook and loves to have people love his food
starting to feel good about this.

Do this for your remaining 3 things you want to change.
Profound information isn't it? That clarity smarts.

Having this information is a great start...now what? The roller coaster of feeling crappy about the cost and then seeing the possibility of hope for change. Up down up down up down up.

Some may have babysat for a niece or nephew, have their own children.....played with a child that is freaking out about a toy or losing their mind over wanting to do something and your job is to distract that child and redirect them to another toy or game. Make a funny noise, jump up and down, start playing with something else and have it be really fun.
That's what has to happen with our "change brain".

Come up with 4-5 things that you can do to totally shift your changes-interrupt the crappy behavior. These are things you will do on a regular basis until the change becomes habit.
example: working out in the early am.
For me if i get out of bed and quickly put on  my workout clothes I cannot skip working out. It is my mindset of you got dressed, get in the car and go.
You could take that one step further and look at what it will "cost" you to not go.

For someone it might be thinking a negative thought about oneself and the moment that happens, they get up and go "whooop whoop" and smile. Yes, some might think you have adult onset tourettes or are having a seizure, though like a child you are changing that behavior.

I realize this is a lot and pretty heavy too. it's BABY STEPS people.
It's time to see that window is open and possibility is coming in like rays of sunshine.

Go at it.
Love you,
sarah