how hard is it to say Thank You?

There are many days that it can seem normal. It's okay...it will be okay.
There are days that you wait for the other shoe to drop.

I love and live with a Gulf War Veteran.
I was handed a beautifully folded American flag during my father's funeral
I relished the hundreds of stories told by my Sea Bee grandfather, fighter pilot and Chaplin grandfather, WAC nurse great aunt, Army Lt Col father and my former Navy husband.

We owe them our gratitude and our love.
Many come back in boxes to the ones that knew them best.
Others come back stronger than when they left.
Still others come back needing our protection, love and patience.

They are the hero's.
Today is a special day, everyday is Veteran's Day.

Thank you.

Love you

                                           Frederick Hassams-Fouth of July, 1916

A little story

It is truly fascinating how you can completely forget how to do something.That something that from the outside you might have been called pretty darn good at.

There is some digging going on as you have probably surmised.

I love the story about the donkey that fell into a well and could not get out.
All the farmers were wringing their hands leaning over the well rim trying to figure out how to get the donkey out.
Someone could be lowered down and we could winch the donkey out.
The well was very deep and not used.
So with very heavy hearts they thought it best to bury the donkey and say a prayer.
For many hours, shovel after shovel of dirt went into the well.
Many more hours and more dirt.
The donkey kept getting hit with the dirt and he would brush it off and move it out of the way.
More hours, more dirt.
Donkey was getting annoyed, though he kept shaking the dirt off and moving it out of the way.
A farmer looked up from shovelling and saw something twitch.
He went to the edge of the well and saw the donkey's ears.
Everyone else was still shovelling.
Next thing that farmer saw was the donkey's nose.
He was stunned literally silent.
The other farmers were just shovelling away and saying their prayers for the donkey's soul.
Then as the donkey's head became totally visible, the farmer found his voice.
This donkey was not done, yes it was annoying to have dirt shovelled on you, there is always a way out, and trust that you will find the way.

There is a hum happening all over the world. The sweat and labour of millions of people sending dirt over the edge of the well. Building the platform of humanity and justice.

What does this have to do with forgetting who you are?
For many of us, it is who you are and who you become with the dirt being shovelled on top of you. Are you one that, maybe to your core annoyed, though shakes and brushes it off. Do you see the pickle you are in and see that there is a way out. Imagine being that mute donkey, your voice not filling the ears of who stands to make decisions regarding your life and the well being of others.

Think about a time in your life you wanted something so bad you made the decision, I will have that, be that, do that no matter what. You made the plan, worked the steps and learned about how far you can be pushed or shovelled on. You became a different person.
If you are one that has somehow forgotten your greatness, remember the time that you made the decision and ran through the tape.

http://youtu.be/V6xLYt265ZM

Love you

Have a little.....

There are mounds of things that get processed, get shoved to the back, get half done or when you are really lucky you get check something off your list.


A gentleman on one the TED conversations asked about being authentic and becoming your authentic self. There is a lively discussion going on about authenticity. Wikipedia's definition is: Authenticity refers to the truthfulness of origins, attributions, commitments, sincerity, devotion, and intentions.


I love this.


When you dig, do the work, care enough, and then accept the outcome....I see authenticity.


The bottom line is you must do the work required to get there. Sometimes it is a moment in time and at other times it feels and is millenniums. In Buddhism you make your way around as many times as it takes to get it "right". Maybe "right" is becoming ones most authentic self. Think of the work involved.

We strive to be good parents, good daughters, mothers, wives, friends.......So when we can only use part of our brains to "complete" a task are we being authentic? Brene Brown comes to mind (see her piece below on a previous post) have courage with your whole heart. When she said that I know in that moment truly what it meant to live authentically. I could feel it in the core. Could I have felt that three years ago? Not sure.

In this moment..this very moment, we are all doing the best we can. That is not to let anyone off the hook for being a stinker or living a life less than they should, it is in this moment, we are doing the best we can. So that must mean we are at this moment being are authentic selves. As Oprah says "When we know better we do better". At the very least when you know better even if you are still playing that old record you know in your heart you are not living. If anything possibly guilt will get the better of you and you will start flying right.

You must do the work to get there. Show up and be present. If you are crabby and irritated, that's real. Just don't let it stop you from getting to the next step.


Love you

                                                          be authentic.

Change always comes bearing GIFTS. -Price Pritchett

You know when you know, right?....

to stay
to leave
to get thin
to stay fat
get off the crazy train

There are so many moments that we let slip by.
With those moments are choices that also get made whether it was conscious or not.

some pray on it
some meditate on it
others let others make the choice for them.

without reducing how difficult and tedious change can be on your whole existence
love this take on "three little birds"


Check your ego, we are all on the same team.
love you

What will it cost?

There is a shift happening.
For many of us, the last 2-3 years has been the pressure to move the plates.
A window is open.

In the words of your favourite super hero....will it be for good or for evil? Or "What will it cost?"

The brilliant thing about change...ie: "the shift" is that it can happen quickly. You choose the timing and you choose how it will happen. This is scary and very freeing at the same time.

You might ask..."so how do I get me some of this shifting?" Like a shot in the heiny, it smarts and then starts to take effect. You might have some intestinal issues along the way, though really you are starting to feel better and have more energy.

Try something for me.
Take out a journal, scrap piece of paper, you kids lined ruler paper and write down 4 things you want to change. Try not to take too long, a minute or so for all 4. Be clear and honest.
an example might be:
1. eat better
2. lose weight
3. be nicer to my husband
4. work on growing my business

Simple and clear, right?!
okay, a little more for you.
take another piece of paper and write on the top of it what you want to change..."1. eat better"
then list 10. reasons to change it.......what it will cost you if you don't.

I know, this is hard...this is the shot in the heiny...smarts part. Again, be clear and honest.
for example:
Eat Better
1. my kids will not be as healthy in body and brain because they want to eat what I do
2. the continued sadness my husband feels for not eating better would lead to more disconnection
3. I will get fatter
....you get the picture

okay, flip the page over and list 10. things you will GAIN changing this behavior. The simple pleasures, the amazing outrageous awesome positive things that will come your way when you change.

a little help
1. look better
2. feel better-future health
3. a happy husband-he loves to cook and loves to have people love his food
starting to feel good about this.

Do this for your remaining 3 things you want to change.
Profound information isn't it? That clarity smarts.

Having this information is a great start...now what? The roller coaster of feeling crappy about the cost and then seeing the possibility of hope for change. Up down up down up down up.

Some may have babysat for a niece or nephew, have their own children.....played with a child that is freaking out about a toy or losing their mind over wanting to do something and your job is to distract that child and redirect them to another toy or game. Make a funny noise, jump up and down, start playing with something else and have it be really fun.
That's what has to happen with our "change brain".

Come up with 4-5 things that you can do to totally shift your changes-interrupt the crappy behavior. These are things you will do on a regular basis until the change becomes habit.
example: working out in the early am.
For me if i get out of bed and quickly put on  my workout clothes I cannot skip working out. It is my mindset of you got dressed, get in the car and go.
You could take that one step further and look at what it will "cost" you to not go.

For someone it might be thinking a negative thought about oneself and the moment that happens, they get up and go "whooop whoop" and smile. Yes, some might think you have adult onset tourettes or are having a seizure, though like a child you are changing that behavior.

I realize this is a lot and pretty heavy too. it's BABY STEPS people.
It's time to see that window is open and possibility is coming in like rays of sunshine.

Go at it.
Love you,
sarah

When you fall down.....get up -Buddha

we do this over and over.
it is our nature and in our DNA.
sometimes it feels like it short-circuits and leaves us out in the pouring rain with no shelter.

we have indomitable spirits.
it is often our hearts that get the beating
sometimes we lose our way and need others to help us back on the path.

we are human
it is our duty to feel the pain as well the glory
sometimes it hurts.

have courage. live out loud.

This is an amazing piece from researcher Brene Brown. She talks about compassion and vulnerability.
She speaks of courage and connection.
In this time of ............ let's have courage. Let's love like we never have before.




courage-to tell the story with your whole heart.

love you

Ease and Grace

Have a little something for you.
Each night, before your head hits the pillow, quickly write down 5 things that felt good or went right that day.

A few of mine are:
Gladys came into the office and gave me a kiss
Wedding ring is FOUND!
Gas was 3.49 a gallon
I had a meeting today-listened and cast the vision, it was effortless

It's a terrible picture of a painting in my Living Room, I painted in Grad School. It's of my mom and dad. I love this painting. It makes me smile every time I see it. My father died in 1995 and not until this moment did it connect that because of school, I took the time to work through it. Most of time when we have loss-whether it be a job, a parent, a marriage...anything big or small we do not take the time to move through it. We have been so conditioned to take our 4 days of to grieve and move on. Smush it down. Move on.....

This is unfortunate as we then get on the cycle of doing the same thing and getting the same results. The moment we feel dis-ease or dis-comfort we head out and create something new to keep us busy.
It could seem like this is ramblings for a society that is not going to change it Family Leave time and we cannot lose our status or income level...much less not feed our kids.

Many of us have experienced life changing loss in the last 2-3 years. Loss of a job, status, money, house, illness, etc. Nobody is really ready for this. I love our former Arbonne President, Rita Davenport says "prepare for impact". This is to say, live your life not in fear of what will come, however, be prepared by doing the work necessary to be able to mitigate the loss with ease and grace.

We are all on the edge of our seats, waiting......waiting to see what is going to happen. Seems a little selfish and complicit. Search out, find a system to help you with the tools to get to that state of ease and grace.

Love you best

Rita Speaks

Rita Speaks--Lessons & Principles



--Don't take yourself seriously, but do take what you do (Arbonne) seriously.

--The possibilities are endless when we believe in ourselves.

--God didn't make junk!

--Money isn't everything, but its right up there with oxygen.

--Don’t take yourself so seriously.

--We are in the people building business.

--When someone says no that just means they don’t know enough.

--Help enough other people get what they want, and in turn you will get what you want.

--You are in this business for yourself but not by yourself.

--Do a little more than is expected of you.

--We are not dope-dealers, we are HOPE-dealers.

--Don't hang around with people that are more messed up than you.

--My tear ducts are connected to my bladder.

--Give yourself a mental enema.

--Be yourself at your very best: you'll mess up trying to be someone else.

--Know that you are at the right place, at the right time, with the right opportunity, and the right products,

to have more, be more, do more, learn more, and earn more, so you can give more.


Rita Speaks--Lessons & Principles

--Put your big girl panties on and deal with it.

--Prepare for impact.

--A handout is not as good as a hand up.

--Get your ASK in gear.

--Have an attitude of gratitude.

--The secret to happiness is good health, and a short memory.

--Success is living the life you choose.

--If money will fix it, it's not a problem.

--You gotta do the do.

--You have to circulate to percolate.

--Love what is.

--Act as if.

--Excuses why not to do Arbonne are the very gifts that Arbonne brings.

--Help enough people get what they want, and you will fulfill your dreams.

--We are in the business of hope.

--Rewards are in proportion to our service.

--Don't let anyone ever tell you can't get above your raising.

--Never take the herbal colon cleanse and a sleeping pill on the same night.

Rita Davenport has built a Condo in my Heart.
Love you,
sarah

Be Bold

Today was one of those nutty days that you feel like you are behind on everything. I met up for lunch with a dear friend, who happens to be one of those people that are a smile embodied. As the lunch went on and we got deeper into what dreams are made of...no one else existed. We could have been anywhere.

In our conversation, we talked about the road blocks of getting from point A to point B.
I do tend to think of life a little like climbing a mountain or Adventure Racing. In climbing, it's take a step..breathe..take a step...breathe, over and over.....and over till you reach your next camp, next rest, or the summit. Knowing then, at the summit, you are only half way there unless you plan on staying. One must come down. You go through moments of elation, despair, sadness, boredom, and too many to name only to come back to take a step...breathe...take a step....breathe.
In Adventure Racing, the goal is to move forward going as quickly as you can, running, jumping, falling down and all the while trying to maintain a sense of direction and mentally keeping it somewhat together. Many times, unlike climbing, you must veer from the course. Looking at the map, seeing what lies ahead and realizing you will be moving forward.....parallelling (is that even a word?). You are not in forward motion. Again you go through the range of emotions, seen above and you have the added benefit of being covered in leeches, mud, the salt has rubbed your heiny raw (alright I'll stop), you get the picture.

So if it seems like there is a tangent...yes though what we want most in life is to enable others to live their dreams. What does that mean?

The gal I had lunch with told me a story about a older blind, homeless gentleman that was holding a sign up to help him gain monetary support. The sign said "I'm blind, please help". He was not getting very many donations. A lady approached and asked if she could help, he felt her shoes and said, yes. She flipped the sign over and wrote something and handed it back to him. That day the money poured in. The lady came back to check on the blind gentleman later that day and found him very happy. He knew it was her from her shoes. He asked, "what did you write on the sign that changed my fortune?". She replied, it says," What a beautiful day, I cannot see it".

Whether it is paralleling in a race, unable to see the beautiful day, or being frightened of what lay ahead for us personally or professionally. BE BOLD. I told her we as humans fail forward.

This amazing talk by Randy Pausch at Carnegie Mellon reminds us to BE BOLD and it is our life's work to enable others to love their dreams. GO AT IT PEOPLE!



love you,
sarah

my mom

This year, March 30th, my mom turned 69.

By no means is this old. She is a vibrant Southern Woman who has walked through the fire. Some people call those that have Shamans. I would put her in this category. There are things she has experienced and seen that I will not ever have to. There are things she has experienced and seen that I wish I could.

There is nothing like being a mother. I love that it means so many things, on so many levels. Just as there are lots of different kinds of families, how we become a mother has its own path. Sometimes we become a mother to our own mothers...and that is our course.

I love this poem by Sarah Kay at one the TED Conferences. "If I had a daughter...."


We have a day coming up that honors these amazing and special people in our lives. We do not get to choose who we literally came out of. Though as we age, we have the freedom to choose who we mother and who we accept mothering from. Who will help us see our gifts? Who will help us manage our frustration? Who have we chosen to go to when all your chips are down and there is little breath left in your lungs?

So honor the mother in you, call your mom and let her know she is the BOMB.

love you,
sarah

I can be silent no longer

What is happening in Wisconsin is a travesty.
There are two sides to everything, and in politics sometimes more than two.
My mother is a teacher, for over 35 years. She spent part of our childhood getting her Masters. She has taught all levels, from 4th grade all the way up to Masters Candidates. My mom is very smart, very dedicated.

She was a single mom working 2-3 jobs all the time and tutoring to make ends meet. Teachers, even at her level don't make a living wage. She still teaches today and still does not make what she is worth. This is a woman that feeds our children the knowledge and life skills they need.

The idea of collective bargaining goes across many levels. Congress, State Officials, including Governor's, The President all have their salaries set through collective bargaining.

There are many things broken in this amazing country of ours. That said, we have one of the most incredible public sector workforce in the world. They are hard-working families and individuals that make this country run. Why would we ask them to live in poverty. If a bus-driver has worked hard and put in the time and energy, why wouldn't we pay them six-figures? Remember that six-figures can mean 100,000.00. After taxes retirement fund, paying into the health insurance that is about 60k or 5000.00 a month. For a family of four, that is not that much money. God forbid, that public sector worker has a special needs child that needs child that requires 24 hour care. God forbid that public sector worker has a mother with Alzheimer's and she has no money. God forbid something happens to that public sector worker and they can no longer work.

The other question that comes up for me is, do YOU want to pick up our countries garbage, work at the sewage plant, clean the back-side of a our aging parents that are living in a state aging facility?
These are our public workers. They are the back-bone of this country. Just like our troops. Why would we want them to live in poverty? Why would we want them to live in poverty?

Your job/work/passion/your calling-whatever you choose to call it, is about you. Some people go to work and it is drudgery. Some go to work and even though some days it is tougher that others, it is simply a joy. Either way, what you do, is your choice. Why not have the ability to have a collective voice of many instead of one. Teams are an amazing way to get things done. The sum of many brains, parts, voices.

There are a lot of opinions out there. One that kept coming up, I listened and thought long and hard about Dick Morris's comments on the subject. Yes, there are workers that do not need to be in the classroom, in a patrol car or on a ladder saving someone from burning building. There are ways of making sure that this does not happen. The years of good service far outweighs the years they may not be able to be all that they can be. We are quickly becoming a society of no loyalty. This is sad. What ever is cheapest. Have a look at the numbers, is it "cheaper" to turn someone out with no health insurance and have them be not be able to afford their medications or Cancer treatment? Is is cheaper to get rid of someone who has served the children for years and now they are in the gap and not able to get Social Security for 4 or 5 more years?

We have an amazing country. Let's work on being more loyal and loving. Let's support our teachers, military, fire-fighters, police and hard-working Americans, not the almighty bottom-line. They are the true hero's.

you know when you know....

Of course, it seems so obvious now.
After months of looking behind the sofa and around the lawn gnome, I finally figured out why the long face.

That thing called SAD (not fond of the acronym) Seasonal Affective Disorder. Feel like such a city girl, putting a disorder to my, well.... funk. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/seasonal-affective-disorder/DS00195e .
Yes, many of us, above the Mason Dixon Line (mind you peeps, I am a born and raised Texan) have Vitamin D deficiency.
Love living in the Midwest, the winters can be tough and we moved a little further north and it took me 1 1/2 winters to see the light...literally.

I tell you this, partly for those that have been wondering where their friend went and the other part is that whatever is going on in your life, there is hope. There is that green patch on the other side of the fence. So, if you see me with a slight tan in the middle of winter.....say to yourself or outloud, she has that SAD thing.

Enough said.
Finding the answer to things is a little like finding Neil Pasricha. He's the genius that, in the midst of terrible happenings in his own life, he wanted to feel better. Neil started a little blog called http://1000awesomethings.com/  This is Neil at TED http://www.ted.com/talks/neil_pasricha_the_3_a_s_of_awesome.html  (are you getting yet I am a HUGE TED fan?) We can see the good amidst the disheartening. You can choose to see the good.

You can choose to see the good.

Love you,
sarah

Why your Why is important....be the Leader

Hi everyone!
What an exciting month. For those of us in the Midwest, it is the hope of Spring coming, we begin to see the end of snow and below zero days.

Many of you know the TED (http://www.ted.com/) conferences around the world. They bring together some incredible people to share what they know and believe. This gentleman, Simon Sinek, came up on Hulu and honestly the only reason I watched it was that it had the word "Leader" in the title.

Simon's talk is a lot of fast talking, bell curve scribbling, and crazy fabulous info about belief...How important our WHY's are/have to be for anything and everything we do.

Simon Sinek speaker at the the 2009 TED conference in Puget Sound


This jewel, I believe, is the difference between moving through life and moving through life in purpose.

When you walk in purpose, you collide with Destiny.
-Dr Bertice Berry

love you,
sarah

new chapters

It seems that a new chapter in life starts and ends every moment. When you feel like you just caught up, WHAMMO, another one starts up. (Even more fun is when you find yourself mid-way in a new chapter and you were asleep at the wheel for the first half for whatever reason)

It has been a while. I want to apologize.

Life , as always, has taken lots of twists and turns. Many amazing people have entered my life, a few have left this life, and again as always life moves forward.

A gentleman, by the name of Charlie Engle http://www.charlieengle.com/ has been in the side of my brain for a while. He and I raced in Borneo-Eco Challenge Sabah on different teams. He started his 21 month Federal Prison sentence. This is a man that walks the walk. Recovering addict and alcoholic, father of two amazing teenage boys and fellow adventurer. They decided to make an example of him-regards to the whole housing collapse. Charlie bought houses-fixed them and resold them. Read his story, he is much better at telling it.

A fine man and real example that none of us are exempt.

In the last few weeks I started working with a coach. Her name is Leah. www.leahjantzen.com , she has single handedly helped me see some things that I could not reach. In January, Arbonne had it's Global Training Conference (GTC) in Las Vegas. My RVP, Dr Stacey Bean, asked me what my back-door was. OUCH. I didn't have a back-door when I was building my Interior Design Firm. Why would I have one now?

But I did/do.

At first I thought it was the belief in myself. I was wrong. Leah helped me see that it was the fear of again losing something that I had worked so hard to build. How could I do it again?

You do it again, just like you wake up every morning to feed your kids despite everything. You get up everyday and put one foot in front of the other. No excuses.
You may not accomplish everything you thought you might or wanted to. Either way, it's a good day.

Back to Charlie.
There is nothing in this life that can stop the human spirit. He wrote about reading Nelson Mandela's book about prison. President Mandela loved running in place (RIP-the name). That kept him going, fit and focused. Let's all take a tiny piece of that and sometimes we have to run in place, other times we get to run like our legs are those of a cheetah. NO EXCUSES.

love you best,
I promise I won't be long.
Sarah